Ash vs. Evil Dead is no Evil Dead 2, but it’s still good

November 12, 2015 at 10:46 am (Randomosity) (, , , , )

Well, I finally watched the first episode of Ash vs. Evil Dead, which for some reason I thought was called Ash vs. the Evil Dead, so now don’t I feel stupid.

"And well you should."

“And well you should.”

We learn that it’s thirty years after the events of the original Evil Dead (and possibly Evil Dead 2, because the flashbacks kind of combine the two), and also that Army of Darkness never happened, which is all right because it’s the second best one anyway.

It's a controversial opinion, I know, but one I stand by.

It’s a controversial opinion, I know, but one I stand by.

Ash lives in a trailer court, wears a girdle and works for Valu-Mart, or something like that (again, because Army of Darkness never happened, so there’s no such thing as shopping smart at S-Mart), and also he’s gotten into the habit of picking up strange women in bars and spanking them with his wooden hand.

Anyway, he accidentally unleashes the Candarian demons, whom we’re calling Deadites now, apparently, so maybe Army of Darkness did happen?, and this beautiful lady cop and her red-shirt partner get called to the crime scene and fight Candarian Deadites, and the partner gets all possessed and killed and the lady cop gets to meet Lucy Lawless, so, all things considered, she really comes out ahead.

Seeing this picture, I'm the happiest I'll ever be.

Seeing this picture, I’m the happiest I’ll ever be.

Then Ash decides he needs to flee the ancient evil that’s pursuing him, like that ever works, but it’s mostly so he can have a brief hero’s journey from coward to badass Ash. Also, he gets attacked by a tiny doll, and he pratfalls like a damn pro, and instead of fleeing, he has to kill his possessed neighbor, and then he goes for THE CHAINSAW HAND…

... and then I had to fan myself because, boy, is it getting hot in here or what?

… and then I had to fan myself because, boy, is it getting hot in here or what?

…but he has to kill another possessed neighbor to get it, which is too bad, because she was totally cleaning his trailer house for him, and then at the end, his two coworkers are all like, “How do you feel?” And he’s all like: “Groovy.”

Groovy indeed, Ash. Groovy indeed.

Groovy indeed, Ash. Groovy indeed.

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6 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    *sigh* I wish I had cable. Or that Starz and Netflix would kiss and make up (I can be patient and wait a few months to watch a show if I know it’ll eventually make it to Netflix).

    • lokifire said,

      You can still watch the first episode! It’s available for free on Starz’s (Starz’?) web site!

      • Jamin said,

        Yeah, but then I will have seen the first episode of a series I’ll never see again until I eventually buy the series on dvd/blu-ray. That’s worse than just waiting on the whole thing!

      • lokifire said,

        Well, jeez, I guess. (Says the person who is planning to do that exact thing.)

  2. brikhaus said,

    The reason they don’t mention Army of Darkness is because the rights to the entire film belong to Universal. But come on, of course it still happened. What, just because he doesn’t still work at S-Mart? How many people do you know who have worked the same job for 30 years? It would only make sense he’d work someplace else, but it’s still a crappy job because Ash has no skills and no education.

    In any case, yes, the first episode was glorious, and I’m dying to see the whole series, I don’t think I can wait for the Blu-ray. Argh!

    • lokifire said,

      Pfsh. Nope. Never happened. Your favorite Evil Dead movie doesn’t exist.

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