Lone Wolf and Cub is way better than Path of the Assassin

November 27, 2015 at 3:05 pm (Randomosity) (, , , )

After rereading Lone Wolf and Cub recently, I was on a Kazuo Koike/Goseki Kojima kick, so I dug out my old volumes of Path of the Assassin, which I discovered, upon serious contemplation, are nowhere near as good as Lone Wolf and Cub.

Nor are they as good as Samurai Executioner, which I am now also rereading.

Nor are they as good as Samurai Executioner, which I am now also rereading.

Path of the Assassin purports to be the saga of Tokugawa Ieyasu’s rise to power, aided by his ninja vassal Hattori Hanzo, but it’s really the story of Hattori Hanzo and his magical penis.

Early on, Hattori Hanzo rapes a woman … and she falls in love with him. Later, he rescues a woman from being raped, then decides to rape her. And she falls in love with him. Then a female ninja breaks into their territory, hoping she can be captured by Hattori Hanzo … and raped. HIS PENIS IS SO MAGICAL SHE WANTS HIM TO RAPE HER. Anyway, they have sex, but it’s actually mutual, and she falls in love with him. After that, he tricks a woman into having sex with him while he’s disguised as an old man. She falls in love with him.

I blame his magical penis for this tee-shirt too.

I blame his magical penis for this tee-shirt too.

Then he decides that all his women (except the first one, whom he dumps brutally, and we never see again) should live together and support him. At first, they fight over him, but then, thanks to his magical penis, they decide that foursomes are good, and they all live happily together.

Also, Tokugawa Ieyasu comes to power and there’s a bunch of boring political stuff, but mostly it’s the story of Hattori Hanzo’s magical penis. The. End.

Phallic imagery heavily implied.

Phallic imagery heavily implied.

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2 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    This sounds like an amazing story. Thanks for the recommendation. This was a recommendation, wasn’t it? Oh, it wasn’t? That’s OK. It still sounds like some high-quality literature.

    • lokifire said,

      It’s rape-tastic!

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