Lately, you’ve been seeing someone. He’s pretty spiritual, talking about this “Force” that flows through all living things. He even claims to be a master of this “Force.”
You know what that means! You’re dating a Jedi Master, probably.
Here’s a handy guide to make certain your boyfriend is a really, truly legit Jedi Master.
1. Your boyfriend has a shag haircut and once kissed his twin sister. Congratulations! You’re dating Young Luke Skywalker! He is truly a Jedi master.
2. Your boyfriend is a loner who hangs out in swamps and talks backwardly. Good news, everyone! You’re dating Yoda, a Jedi master among Jedi masters.
3. Your boyfriend belongs to the church of Jediism. The bad news for you is he’s not a Jedi master. The good news is you can tell your mother he attends church regularly.
4. Your boyfriend wears a hooded robe and is a hermit. Hey, good for you! You’re dating Obi-Wan Kenobi!
5. Your boyfriend wears a hooded robe and is a hermit. Or you’re dating Old Luke Skywalker.
6. Your boyfriend force-chokes his stupid enemies, and looks good in black. Technically, your boyfriend is a Sith Lord, but I’m going to call it close enough. You’re dating Darth Vader!
7. Your boyfriend looks like Samuel L. Jackson. Excellent! You’re dating the Jedi that Samuel L. Jackson played in those movies that don’t exist.
8. Your boyfriend is a whiny baby who throws temper tantrums and is a dirty patricide. Spoiler alert! You’re dating Kylo Ren.
9. Your boyfriend would turn the galaxy upside down if someone kidnapped his daughter. Yea! You’re dating either Qui-Gon Jinn or Liam Neeson in Taken (and Taken 2).
10. Your boyfriend is a pretty lady. Holy Mary Sues, Batman! You’re dating Rey, who is a super-powerful Jedi despite having neither training nor any knowledge of the Force prior to it awakening within her!
So there you have it! You’re definitely dating one of the guys who goes to a Jedi Church, because the rest of them are made up.