The titular blondes of two Rob Thomas series (hey, iZombie is titular enough, plus I hardly ever get to use the word “titular,” so file it under creative license, durnit), Veronica Mars and Liv Moore have several things in common. Like being blonde or something. Snarky, maybe.
Anyway, which one do I prefer?
We’ll find out … in this fictional character battle!
Physicality. Veronica Mars is cute as a button and, despite her shortness, has legs that go on for days. Liv Moore is also cute as a button, working the whole goth girl thing. Winner? Despite my love of Kristen Bell, I have to say that I’m kind of into Liv’s pastiness. Liv Moore.
Punnier name? Veronica Mars is a cool name. It just rolls right off the tongue. But Olivia “Liv” Moore began living more (ha! so punny!) once she became a zombie. Winner? Liv Moore.
Solves more crimes? Veronica Mars is an amateur detective who solves literally TONS of crimes (not literally). She even solves her best friend’s murder! Liv Moore is an assistant medical examiner who helps the police solve murders. Winner? It’s a tie!
Solves more crimes using plain old detective work? The truth is, Liv Moore helps solve crimes through the power of being a zombie. That’s right! She gets psychic flashes and memories from the brains of murder victims she’s eaten! While handy, that’s totally cheating. Veronica Mars has never eaten another human’s brain in her life. As far as I know. Winner? Veronica Mars.
Better new best friend? After Veronica Mars’ first best friend Lilly Kane is brutally murdered, Veronica Mars befriends the awesome Wallace Fennel, and they become BFF for double-ever. After Liv Moore turns into a zombie, she ditches her old life to work in the morgue, where she befriends Ravi Chakrabarti, the most wonderful person to ever exist. He’s British, he’s tall, he loves Star Wars — oh, and he’s totally down with Liv’s zombieness and is working on a cure. Also, he saves her life a couple of times. Also, he prevents the zombie apocalypse a lot. Winner? Liv Moore.
Better old best friend? Lilly Kane, Veronica Mars’ first best friend, was a super-cool girl who did what she wanted, when she wanted, who she wanted. Which ultimately led to her getting her brains bashed in, but was probably a lot of fun up till that point. Liv Moore’s first best friend is Peyton Charles, who is probably the hottest person in the universe. She’s a DA, she can drink everybody under the table and, once she finds out about Liv’s zombieism, she’s eventually pretty cool with it. Winner? Liv Moore.
Better love interest? Veronica Mars’ was in love with her best friend’s brother, Blandguy Kane, whose name I always struggle to remember. Luckily, she came to her senses and hooked up with bad boy Logan Echolls, because they are soul mates (unless he tries to come between her and BFF Wallace, in which case he should be kicked straight to the curbside). Logan is bad because he’s tortured, man. He’s, like, sensitive, but so bad. Liv Moore’s ex-fiance is Major Lillywhite, which is an even dumber name than Liv Moore, and do you suppose she would have taken his last name if they had gotten married? Then she’d be Liv Lillywhite, which is just too much alliteration! And I love alliteration, because it’s easy! Liv has experimented with dating some dude zombies, but it never seemed to work out, so she’s probably destined to be with Major. Winner? Veronica Mars, because who doesn’t love a sensitive bad boy?
Bigger badass? Veronica Mars will tazer the hell out of you if she has to. For a tiny little person, she’s also pretty good at hand to hand combat. And when worst comes to worst, she’s always got Backup — her dog, who will rip your throat out with his adorable teeth. However, Liv Moore will literally eat your brains if she has to. She is a zombie. Winner? Liv Moore.
Overall winner? Liv Moore, because apparently I like zombies more than teen girl detectives. Who knew, right?