My mother said a funny thing

July 12, 2016 at 9:27 am (Randomosity) (, , , )

My obsession with American Ninja Warrior continues unabated! And last night, I cheered for the awesome Jessie Graff, who does stuntwork for this one show I can’t stop watching.

I've loved her since she first competed in American Ninja Warrior dressed like Big Bird.

I’ve loved her since she first competed in American Ninja Warrior dressed like Big Bird.

Anyway, Jessie Graff is beautiful and awesome (you already said that!) and outperformed all but one of the other contestants on a brutal obstacle course.

Because she is a GODDESS.

Because she is a GODDESS.

My daughter, however, was unimpressed.

“You won’t say that when I marry her,” I said.

Oooh, and she can wear a suit to the wedding, because she is SO PRETTY.

Oooh, and she can wear a suit to the wedding, because she is SO PRETTY.

But then I realized I had nothing to offer Jessie Graff, being older, less awesome and poor. “I can’t even be her sugar momma,” I said, sadly.

“You can be her Splenda momma,” my mother offered.

"Hmmmm," I replied, thoughtfully.

“Hmmmm,” I replied, thoughtfully.

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2 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    Holy crap… if your daughter actually said “Splenda Momma,” I hope you gave her a high five for that. Such a clever, brutal burn deserves respect.

    • Jamin said,

      Nevermind… reading comprehension. Your mom said that. Still pretty clever.

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