A tale of beautiful baby thieves

September 2, 2016 at 9:13 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , )

The Light Between Two Oceans has Michael Fassbender in it.

He is beautiful.

He is beautiful.

Also, Alicia Vikander.

She is also beautiful.

She is also beautiful.

And then there’s this baby that shows up at their lighthouse, hence the title, washed up to shore in a boat with some dead dude, and they’re like: “Well, clearly, the only thing to do in this situation is not report this to the authorities and pretend the kid is ours.”

"Hey, honey, I think there's a baby in here. We should just call dibs, right?"

“Hey, honey, I think there’s a baby in here. We should just call dibs, right?”

Later, the baby’s mother shows up, because who wouldn’t see that coming, and then there’s supposed to be some sort of moral dilemma, but seriously, don’t just pick up random babies and then tell everybody they’re yours, you slightly-better-than-kidnappers.

For reals, guys, though, give that lady back her baby. Jeez.

For reals, guys, though, give that lady back her baby. Jeez.

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2 Comments

  1. Jamin said,

    Are you trying to say that babies don’t fall under maritime salvage laws?

  2. lokifire said,

    … Maybe?

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