You are the best spy/private detective in the world, and I love you.
I love your fashion sense, your overconfidence, your ability to improvise, and the sound of your voice.
Of all the spies in the world, Archer, you’re my favorite, and I love you, and I really, really hope that you didn’t spoiler alert for those who haven’t seen the last season.
Anyway, Archer, provided spoiler alert didn’t happen, I want you to know: I just want you to be happy. Which is why I’m here, today, to tell you that your perfect girl is not Lana Kane, but rather Pam Poovey.
Yes, Archer. Pam. Pam is your perfect girl. You guys have the same terrible sense of humor, the same lack of self-preservation, the same addictive personalities.
And you are so damn cute together.
You see, Archer, this is where I usually make my case for myself being the perfect girl for whichever fictional character I love the most right now, but my love for you is so unselfish that I want you to be with Pam.
Now shut up and start dating Pam.
You know, providing ….