Why is anyone going to see Girl on the Train?

October 7, 2016 at 10:07 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , , )

There are many things I don’t understand in this world, and one of those things is why people would people would take their precious time and their precious money and go see Girl on the Train.

I mean, it’s obvious Emily Blunt isn’t going to turn out to be the killer. Who would make a movie where Emily Blunt turns out to be the killer? She’s got an ex-husband, so it’s probably the ex-husband. Or it’s Gone Girl redux, and the supposedly dead girl is faking it all.

"No, I did it. Really. I am a stone cold killer."

“No, I did it. Really. I am a stone cold killer.”

But it’s the ex-husband.

"What? Me? Nooooo, I'm not a murder. What???"

“What? Me? Nooooo, I’m not a murder. What???”

And then there’s The Birth of A Nation, which I kind of wanted to see, because it takes the name of D.W. Griffith’s racist, racist 1915 film and flips it on its head.

I mean, people in 1915 thought this thing was racist, so just IMAGINE how racist it must be!

I mean, people in 1915 thought this thing was racist, so just IMAGINE how racist it must be!

But the director totally had sex with an unconscious girl in college, which in many circles is called, you know, “rape,” I don’t care how many juries find him not guilty.

So I’m kind of like, “meh, maybe not” on the whole deal.

Yeah, sorry, movie, but it's kind of a sticking point for me.

Yeah, sorry, movie, but it’s kind of a sticking point for me.

 

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