Abominable is a good word, though

January 2, 2017 at 5:02 pm (Randomosity) (, , )

Sherlock Series 4 started yesterday! But I didn’t see it, because PBS has decided to stop working on my television, and I didn’t get around to streaming the new episode in a totally legal manner, so I decided to review last year’s Christmas special instead.

Insert pithy remark about Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones here.

Insert pithy remark about Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones here.

I probably should have reviewed last year’s Christmas special last year, but why don’t you get a blog and I’ll tell you how to run it.

No, I'm sorry, guys. I'll stop taking out my writing issues on you.

No, I’m sorry, guys. I’ll stop taking out my writing issues on you.

Anyway, the Sherlock Christmas Special is called “The Abominable Bride” or somesuch, because I can’t be arsed to look it up. It’s set in Victorian England, because Holmes has gotten his hands on a time machine. Alternately, he did a lot of drugs and is in his mind palace, which is a conceit that is really beginning to wear on me.

I mean, by season 3, everybody and their DOG had a mind palace.

I mean, by season 3, everybody and their DOG had a mind palace.

So in Victorian England, Holmes and Watson are trying to solve the case of the suicidal bride who kills her husband after she’s already dead. Along the way, we meet the Victorian England versions of our favorite Sherlock characters. Lestrade has some incredible mutton chops. Molly Hooper, the cute morgue girl, is disguised as a dude, and Holmes totally can’t tell that she’s not a dude, because he is the worst Best Detective Ever ever.

"Seriously, you are an awful detective."

“Seriously, you are an awful detective.”

Mrs. Hudson is Mrs. Hudson is a retro dress, and John’s Annoying Wife is still there.

Although not for long, am I right? Spoiler alert for season 4, suckers!

Although not for long, am I right? Spoiler alert for season 4, suckers!

The dead bride keeps killing dudes, which is spooooooky, except it turns out it’s a conspiracy of ladies, and then that whole plot line of STOP IGNORING WOMEN DAMMIT gets totally dropped.

"Soooo ... can you figure out how to write our way out of this one?" "Let's just say it was all in Holmes's mind and call it a day, shall we?" "Let's do."

“Soooo … can you figure out how to write our way out of this one?”
“Let’s just say it was all in Holmes’s mind and call it a day, shall we?”
“Let’s do.”

Then Moriarty shows up and is annoying, and then he and Holmes fight on a waterfall, because why not beat The Final Problem like a dead horse, and then Holmes jumps off the waterfall and it’s totally the end of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and then we’re back in London and sexism is solved, forever.

"WHEEEEEEEEEE."

“WHEEEEEEEEEE.”

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1 Comment

  1. brikhaus said,

    FYI: I just read about a new Sherlock Holmes movie titled “Holmes and Watson.” It will star Will Ferrell as Holmes and John C Reilly as Watson. No, really. Considering how much I loved Step Brothers as a guilty pleasure, it should be fun.

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