Ghosts in shells, bosses that are babies, and others

March 31, 2017 at 9:27 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , , , , )

You probably think I’ve been going to the movies a lot lately because I haven’t been posting any “movies I’m not seeing this weekend,” but you’re wrong. I’ve just been lazy and awful and hardly posting anything.

So here’s a quick rundown of some movies I won’t be seeing, no how, no way, yuck.

Beauty and the Beast (Live Version for some reason). I guess we have to have live versions of all the Disney princess movies now? I can’t wait for the Snow White remake, because that won’t be super boring or anything.

But apparently she doesn’t have Stockholm Syndrome and falls for her captor because … I don’t know … true love?

Ghost in the Shell. And here we have a movie where Scarlett Johansson, whose name I can never spell, plays a woman who is in no way shape or form Japanese because Scarjo (I’m only doing it because I can’t spell her name! I’m sorry! I hate portmanteaus!) would never take a role from a person of color, this is just a random woman who was Japanese in the original version but is no longer Japanese, so why you got to be hating on the Black Widow?

Truth-telling time, here: I had a hard time following the anime and didn’t really like it.

Power Rangers. I NEVER LIKED MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS AND I REFUSE TO SEE THIS MOVIE.

Nostalgia is a terrible thing, you guys.

Kong: Skull Island: How is Samuel L. Jackson in, like, all the movies? Is he clones? I think he’s clones.

That might also explain how he hasn’t aged in 30 years.

Boss Baby. Just ick. Yuck. Looks so dumb. Bleh.

Screw you, Dreamworks. I hate you and your stupid movie so much.

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