Hey, look, it’s a new post!

June 6, 2017 at 10:53 am (Randomosity) (, , )

Hey, blog, hey!

Hey, Girl!

So you probably thought I’d given up on you, but I haven’t! I mean, I didn’t on purpose or anything. It’s just … the world’s been kind of shit lately, and I haven’t been able to be funny at all.

But last night that all changed.

Because I found my BEST SHOW EVER.

It is called Still Star-Crossed (Still Star-Crossed!!! What a name! I love you so much, show!), and it is about Romeo and Juliet, except after Romeo and Juliet are already dead, so I guess I could’ve just said “It’s about the Capulets and the Montagues,” but … Eh.

It’s my first Shondaland show! (That I liked.)

I missed the first episode apparently, which makes me sad, because I’m sure it was awesome, but the second episode was SO GOOD. There’s a prince who’s having an affair with Rosalind (Capulet, apparently, in this version), except Rosalind has to get married to pouty-face Benvolio (Montague, Romeo’s cousin), BY THE ORDER OF THE PRINCE. You guys, the drama! The absolute drama.

And you know they’re going to BOTH fall for her and it will be AMAZING.

Then the prince’s sister has to go around stuffed into these godawful dresses, and I don’t think she even breathed once because no one’s waist is that tiny, and Rosalind keeps hanging around her being all, Thank God my costumes FIT, you know? (And all the dudes are in leather pants and they keep walking around bowlegged because leather pants are SO sweaty, amiright??)

OK, this image cuts off a little early, but imagine her waist is about as big around as her neck and you get the idea.

In the meantime, Juliet’s mother is freaking out that someone talked her into suicide, which — wow, Juliet’s mom must’ve read her some Shakespeare back in the day, and Juliet’s father is freaking out because he’s out of money, BUT NO ONE CAN KNOW. So he totally meets with this architect who’s supposed to build the chapel for Rosalind and Benvolio’s wedding, and he’s all, I’m gonna blame you if it doesn’t get built, and the architect is like, I’m not gonna take the fall, and the whole time they’re high up on this scaffolding, and so I say to my daughter: “Now he’s going to push that guy to his death and say: ‘You will take the fall,'” and then he did, and my daughter would’ve been impressed, but she was like, “Meh, I saw it coming too.”

Pictured here: Rosalind Capulet, relieved that she’s not standing on a precarious scaffolding with her eeeeeeevil uncle.

Anyway, the dialogue is SUPER ridiculous, like sometimes they’re trying to sound like Shakespearean, and other times they’re talking about screwing prostitutes, literally using the word “screw,” and everybody keeps gazing directly into the camera, and everybody looks like they just stepped off the set of a CW show and accidentally wandered over to ABC, and it is just glorious.

P.S. Thank you, costume designer, for making everybody look as miserable as possible. It is so great!

So I can’t wait to watch it again next week!

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1 Comment

  1. brikhaus said,

    Adventure Time! C’mon and grab your friends!

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