I didn’t see The Mummy last weekend

June 15, 2017 at 2:52 pm (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , )

I actually kind of like the Brendan Fraser Mummy. It’s cute and fluffy and Brendan Fraser is adorable in his little suspenders.

Hi, cutie-pie!

But I don’t understand why we’re doing a Tom Cruise Mummy. Or why we’re trying to make Tom Cruise Ancient Action Star a thing. He’s old enough to be my grandfather!

“I am so very old and so very tired.”

(Editor’s note: This is a lie. Tom Cruise is not old enough to be the blogger’s grandfather. The blogger is a dirty liar, and you kids had better get off her lawn.)

So the Tom Cruise Mummy looks like it’s basically a lady Mummy because take that, sexism, apparently! And Really Old Tom Cruise running around with Girl Young Enough To REALLY Be His Granddaughter who is probably the love interest because that’s just how Hollywood rolls.

Take that, sexism?

So WHY BOTHER?

“Because sexy lady wrapped in bandages, duh.” — Hollywood

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2 Comments

  1. brikhaus said,

    I didn’t seed this either. I did see the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean, which was definitely a movie I saw in the theater!

    • lokifire said,

      NOOOOOOO, Brik!

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