The Fullmetal Alchemist vs. Cyborg

December 2, 2010 at 12:51 pm (Fictional Character Battles) (, , , , )

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, has two metal limbs. Which would make him not fullmetal exactly, but at least partially metal. Who else is partially metal, you ask? Could it be the Teen Titans’ Cyborg? It could be and, in fact, is! (What do you mean you knew that because you read the post title? Are you trying to ruin the fun I’m having writing this intro?)

He doesn't usually control electricity like that, though.

OK, I guess he'd actually qualify as "mostly metal."

What do these two characters have in common besides being part metal?

God only knows, and hopefully Wikipedia, or I’m going to have to dredge up all my memories from my Teen Titans reading days and junior high was a long time ago.

(Yeah, I mostly pitted them against each other because of the metal thing. It was either that or find some other fictional alchemist, which I’m just too lazy to do.)

On to the battle! Of metal proportions! (That, eh, sounded funnier in my head.)

Physicality. Edward Elric is the petite golden-eyed, golden-haired protaganist of Fullmetal Alchemist. Sometimes Hiromu Arakawa draws him all muscular and serious, and other times he looks like a caricature. But let’s just agree he’s pretty cute, because manga characters are so kawaii, squee!

This artist's rendition of him is very pretty.

Victor Stone is the dark-haired, dark-skinned and, let’s assume, tall Cyborg. Sure, part of his face got melted off or whatever and so he’s part robot, but you know what? He’s tall (-er than Edward Elric). Winner? Well, it would be Edward Elric for the whole golden-eyed manga character thing, but my weakness for tall (-er than Edward Elric) men wins out here, and Cyborg takes this category.

Also, he looks like this on Smallville, so that's pleasant.

Has actual superpowers? Cyborg’s superpower is the power of being partially made of cybernetic limbs that his father made, which is less like having a superpower and more like having a car attached to you. On the other hand, he is preternaturally strong and can probably, I don’t know, shoot lasers out of his robot eye or something. Edward Elric is an alchemist (Yes, you probably guessed that from his code name), which, in the Fullmetal Alchemist universe, is an actual science that works, the exact opposite of the way it does in the real world. So, with a clap of his hands, Edward Elric can transform everyday objects into … other objects. It’s cooler than it sounds, actually, because he can turn a piece of wood into a spear. Shut up. I know everyone can do that if they stab hard enough, but it’s actually a cool power, OK? I just suck at describing it, all right? Winner? Edward Elric.

Alchemy at work! Or at least until everything goes horribly wrong and someone loses an arm.

Has a younger brother who is constantly mistaken for him? Thanks to Edward Elric’s codename being the Fullmetal Alchemist and not The Partially Metal Alchemist (It’s Only One Arm and One Leg), people are constantly confusing his younger brother, Alphonse (who is a soul living in an empty suit of armor), for him. Because, you know, a suit of armor, actually is fullmetal, so it’s like the whole setup was just to make that exact joke! Victor Stone doesn’t seem to have any siblings, or at least wikipedia doesn’t think he does, but even if he did, unless they got involved in some sort of coincidental face- and body-melting tragedy, they probably aren’t mistaken for him. Winner? Edward Elric.

So ... my entire origin was the setup for a series-long joke? All righty, then.

Is a member of a cool team of superheroes? Have I mentioned that Cyborg is associated with the Teen Titans? I hope so, because I don’t feel like explaining it again. Edward Elric is more of a lone wolf, kind of like Wolverine or like Lone Wolf and Cub, but when he gets together with his friends, they comprise a team made up of other alchemists and chimeras who can transform into lion-men and stuff. Although I don’t understand how, if they’re just transforming into stuff and then can transform back, they’re actually chimeras. Maybe it’s the language barrier, I don’t know. Winner? No one! Edward Elric isn’t part of a team, and the Teen Titans kind of suck.

Is it just me or is American art becoming more and more anime-like?

Has a friend who can control fire? In some animated series, Cyborg was friends with Firestorm, who I can only assume has some sort of mastery over fire or else his name is very misleading.  Edward Elric is acquaintances with Col. Roy Mustang, a.k.a. the Flame Alchemist, who controls (oh, yeah, you guessed it) flame! Which is also known as fire, if you were having trouble making the connection. Winner? Edward Elric, because, he’s not friends with Roy Mustang in every version of their universe. Or, you know, acquaintances. Whatever.

They don't always get along, but they're also not trying to kill each other, which I think qualifies them as "friends" in the Fullmetal Alchemist universe.

Kicks ass and takes name? Edward Elric is constantly going up against much stronger opponents, against all odds, and getting his ass handed to him. (It’s not really unexpected.) But he’s a scrappy fighter and a quick learner, so he can hold his own. (Until his ribs get broke.) Cyborg goes up against all sorts of DC baddies that I’ve never heard of, but he seems to come out on top most of the time, except for those times he gets killed, because that always happens to comic book heroes. (It’s worse in the Marvel universe, though.) Winner? We’ll call this one a tie. These boys work hard.

Is trying to save the world? Yes.

Has the pesky habit of protecting innocents and a moral code that prevents him from killing? Yes.

Has a cute little girlfriend who repairs his automail? Cyborg has a … wait a second. Cyborg doesn’t use automail. This question is totally biased, isn’t it? Isn’t it? (Of course it is!) Winner? Edward Elric.

There's plenty of pictures of Winry Rockbell from the anime, but this cosplayer was just so! damned! cute!, I had to use her image instead.

Overall winner? Despite his marked lack of height-itude, we’re going with the golden-eyed boy wonder: Edward “Fullmetal (but not really) Alchemist” Elric.

Fine, it's because he can turn his right arm into a sword.

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