My hair’s fine like this!, or, Why I’m not seeing Hit and Run

August 24, 2012 at 10:08 am (The Movie I'm not Seeing this Weekend) (, , , , )

I don’t wanna see Hit and Run.

Oh, God, this movie can’t possibly end without that gorgeous car being destroyed, can it?

It’s for a very stupid reason, one that is so stupid I’m almost embarrassed to admit it. But then I think, hey, if I cared about looking stupid, would I style my hair like this?

If Marilyn Monroe can do it, I would like very much to do it also.

Anyway, the stupid, illogical reason that I don’t wanna see Hit and Run is because I don’t think Guy From Parenthood is good enough for Veronica Mars.

Look at him! He’s wearing THIS HAT!

What makes this reasoning especially stupid and illogical is I don’t know anything about the actor himself. Not his name, not his personality, not what color his eyes are.

Speaking of eye color, here’s Benedict Cumberbatch and his gorgeous eyes, because I have an illness!

All I know about him is that in the brief previews I’ve seen for Parenthood, his character looks like a big, dumb wanker, and I don’t want that associating with Veronica Mars, the best fictional female detective ever! (Except for Miss Marple. Ooooh, new fictional character battle?)

Her hat is much better than whatsisname’s.

So I’m sure (OK, make that not quite sure, but possibly a bit positive) that Hit and Run is sheer comedy genius (I mean, jeez, that’s what the trailers are telling me!), but it doesn’t matter because Guy From Parenthood shouldn’t be dating Veronica Mars.

Veronica + Logan 4evah!
What? No, it’s cool, I can still ship them, years later. I have an illness.

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