Yeah, so, apparently Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher had a torrid affair during the filming of Star Wars, which would be cool, because, like, wow! Han and Leia were really in love, that’s great, but it’s not cool because Harrison Ford was totally married and Carrie Fisher was totally only 19, and now one of my favorite movie romances is ruined!
Thank God I have my other favorite movie romance to fall back on.
Like, seriously, how cool would a city of bones be? Or, you know, horrifying, depending on your stance on cities made out of bones.
But then you find out that before you get to the City of Bones, you have to spend some serious quality time with Eyebrow Girl and her friend Blonde Guy Who Talks Snooty, and then you start reconsidering your vacation to the City of Bones.
And that’s why I need you to go to The World’s End with me, because we all love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and Watson.
Because I would totally room with them. You know, were they to request I do so.
Hell, for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, I would learn the lyrics to the love song from Titanic and make up an interpretive dance while I performed it in front of a live audience. And, if they asked me, I would then kill the audience.
I would do that for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I love those guys.
But you know what I’m not going to do for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? See Paul. And I’m deeply sorry for that, I really am, and I hope they forgive me and, when we’re roommates, it won’t be one of those things, but I just absolutely don’t want to see it.
For this, I blame the voice of Seth Rogen.
Well, and whoever designed the creepy little alien guy. I don’t like that either.
But mostly Seth Rogen’s voice, which is somehow more irritating when it is not coming from Seth Rogen’s face.
And now, to remind me that something good did come from Paul, here’s a video that I’m sure you have all already seen, but I don’t care because it’s just that good.
(I love you, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost! Let’s be besties!!)
So I finally got around to watching Hot Fuzz this weekend. Yeah, apparently it’s been out for two years or so. I’m busy! I’m a busy person! I’m so sorry! I should have watched it sooner! And also Shaun of the Dead! Please forgive me!!
At any rate, in between spasms of laughing my arse off, I noticed certain growing … feelings.
Could it be? I wondered. Is it a Christmas miracle?
Did my heart just GROW THREE SIZES?
Turned out, I just suddenly, inexplicably decided that the petite, slightly pasty, balding Simon Pegg was actually really hot.
I think it was all the leaping that did it. I mean, he leapt over things like mad in that film. He was leaping over things left and right. It was like, leap! And then leap! And then leap some more!
(Plus, and maybe I’m the only woman that feels this way, but there is nothing sexier than a British man on a white horse and he’s got more guns than a reasonable person would be outfitted with.)
(Also, and I didn’t know this until now, but he’s the inspiration for Garth Ennis’s “Wee Hughie” in “The Boys”? Kismet!)
Plus, the scenes between Simon and Nick Frost (who is also mysteriously hot, like, what the hell is up with me? Am I ovulating or something?) were really sweet, and I kept thinking they were going to kiss or something.
(Hot Fuzz is a love story, right?)
So let me leave you now with some pictures of Simon Pegg so that you, too, can see, boy is hot.