Where’s Cary Grant when you need him?
OK, he’s dead, like all the movie greats, but I think The Tourist totally was made for him.
Him and, I don’t know, one of Hitchcock’s icy blondes.
It just doesn’t seem like the right fit for Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.
Not that I’m saying Johnny’s doing a bad job, because he never does a bad job, and in fact, by the end of the trailer, his flat yet somewhat surprised deliveries were really beginning to grow on me.
I’m just saying this is a Cary Grant movie.
In fact, it’s basically North by Northwest, without the Mount Rushmore scene. Or the plane scene. Or Cary Grant.
Really, The Tourist needs Cary Grant.
Because, otherwise, what you’ve got is another spy thriller with Angelina Jolie playing the femme fatale for the umpteenth time and Johnny Depp looking like he’s slightly bored.
“I don’t regret kissing you,” he says to Angelina Jolie, because apathy leaves no room for regret.