Catwoman vs. Harley Quinn

July 8, 2010 at 3:57 pm (Fictional Character Battles)

Here’s a fictional character battle that was suggested by Kerry! Unless Kerry was actually suggesting Harlequin, the masked clown from the classic Italian theater, in which case, Kerry, I’m deeply sorry that I assumed you meant Harley Quinn.

In any case, both Catwoman and Harley Quinn are villain(-esses?)s  in the Batman universe.

Selina Kyle has always felt it was important to cat-burgle in style. Burgle is a funny word.

Inspired by theater, Harley Quinn was not known for her creative nicknames.

What else do they have in common?

And which one is more awesome, as decided by me, who I’m sure is completely unbiased here?

Battle ho! (That’s nothing like a ho battle, by the by.)

Physicality. Dr. Harleen Francis Quinzel isn’t a bad-looking sort, even if her parents did saddle her with the boy’s version of her middle name (it should be Frances, since she’s a girl, but maybe that’s part of what led her down the path to supervillainy, I don’t know). However, she really gets things going once she suits up as Harley Quinn, in the female variant costume of that guy I mentioned earlier: Harlequin. With her traditional face paint and checkered suit, she’s a supervillain for the ages. (I’m not quite sure that sentence turned out the way I meant it to.) On the other hand, Selina Kyle is gorgeous enough that even playboy millionaire Bruce Wayne is attracted to her, and once she puts on that leather catsuit, Batman can’t keep his eyes off her. If garnering Batman’s admiration isn’t a ringing endorsement for Ms. Kyle’s hotness, I don’t know what is. Winner? Catwoman.

Plus: Michelle Pfeiffer! Mrow!

Evil-er? Catwoman spends most of her time as a cat burglar, walking the fine line between good and evil, following her own moral values. She’s been known to fight on the side of the good guys, though, but don’t ask me to reference anything specific, ’cause I just went totally blank. Harley Quinn, however, is in love with the Joker, which has got to be really frustrating because 1) he is quite mad; and 2) his only love is the Batman. (Seriously, watch him flirt! It’s obvious.) As anyone in love with a sociopathic mass murdering super-genius knows, it’s hard not to let a little bit of the evil rub off on you. Winner? Harley Quinn.

Evil, clown makeup. Something’s rubbing off on her.

Better origin? Catwoman has varying origins, since she’s been around since the dawn of Batman, but most recently, she picked up the whip and the catsuit to get out of the clutches of an evil pimp/boyfriend, and to help out her family and friends by stealing stuff for them. Harley Quinn became Harley Quinn upon falling desperately in love with the Joker. I’ve always found love to be one of the lamest reasons to become a supervillain, which is why The Dark Knight’s Two-Face really pissed me off. Winner? Catwoman.

Was ruined by a horrible, terrible, truly bad Halle Berry flick? Catwoman was ruined by a horrible, terrible, truly bad Halle Berry flick. Winner? Catwoman.

Her iconic costume was also ruined. Stupid Hollywood.

Hasn’t appeared in any of the new Batman films yet? Hey! You know who hasn’t appeared in any of the new Batman films yet? Catwoman and Harley Quinn, that’s who. Unless they appeared during that long stretch of The Dark Knight, when I kind of fell asleep a little bit, but I don’t think they did. (I’m sorry, yes, it was brilliant, but it did go on and on and on at the end there.) Winner? A tie!

At first I thought: “This is the end,” and then it wasn’t. And then I thought, “Well, this must be the end,” and then it also wasn’t. And then I can’t remember what happened. Ha, ha, Christian Bales’ batvoice is silly.

Less obvious supervillain moniker? Catwoman is a cat burglar and a woman. Catwoman seems like the obvious choice. It’s pretty obvious. But Harley Quinn is Dr. Harleen Quinzel, which is like being hit upside the head with the obvious stick and, then, once you’ve fallen down, being beaten about the kidneys with it. Winner? Catwoman.

Has better self-esteem? Harley Quinn is in love with a murdering clown who once planned to kill her for whatever reason murdering clowns give for committing murders. That can’t be healthy, you know? Catwoman, however, is in love with the Batman, who is a vigilante who dresses up like a bat to fight crime, which includes the stuff she does. But Catwoman seems to have a better handle on the whole thing, so I’ll give her this category. Winner? Catwoman.

Overall winner? The femme fatale, the lady Batman can’t get out of his head: Catwoman.

Hey, Batman likes her best. What, do you think you’re better than the Batman? Do you?