Why did no one tell me about this?

November 7, 2017 at 3:07 pm (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) (, )

Why did no one tell me there is a Blade of the Immortal movie now????

There is no excuse for this! It’s inexcusable! I can’t believe no one said! *mutters incoherently*

JUST LOOK AT IT!!!!
PERFECTION!!

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Supergirl sadness

November 7, 2017 at 11:10 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) (, )

Last night, my daughter broke with tradition and *sniffle* watched Supergirl at her dad’s house. Naturally, this made me very sad, as it’s “our show.”

Also, it made her dad very sad.

“This show is terrible,” he whispered as he dropped her off.

“Yes, but you’re in love with Melissa Benoist now too, right?”
“Maybe a bit,” he replied.

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Just take some melatonin already, you idiot

September 8, 2017 at 10:01 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) (, )

So I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. (Well, more trouble than usual, I mean.) To remedy that, I’ve started drinking more.

“I am so relaxed right now!”

Studies say: drinking more doesn’t help you sleep.

I say: To hell with that! I’m different from everybody in your studies! I’m sure I will sleep better after I have all the vodka and the whiskey!

Pictured here: My dinner.

In conclusion, I’m so very sleepy and also out of vodka and whiskey.

Also, for some reason, I have a headache and my stomach hurts? Weird, huh?

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Countdown to Japan

July 26, 2017 at 3:10 pm (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) ()

So it’s less than a week till my daughter and I leave for Japan, and my mother is getting a little cranky.

“I’d’ve gone if you’d invited me,” she said.

“Uh, yeah, that’s what we were afraid of,” I said.

Ha, ha, in your face, Mom, enjoy your time NOT in Japan!

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Another perfectly reasonable question – daughter version

July 18, 2017 at 10:13 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now)

“Why do you say you would die for me, but then run away and leave me behind when the wasps come?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, I’m too busy running from all these wasps!”

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Specialized spam….

July 6, 2017 at 1:46 pm (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now)

I was going to keep going with the whole “sp” sounds there, but then I couldn’t think of anything except “sputter” and “Spartan,” so an ellipsis it is.

Anyway, today I’ll be complaining about the spam at work, because I get spam from spambots who clearly think I’m a bigoted Trump-loving Republican who hates Megyn Kelly (one out of four ain’t bad, I guess).

But the weird thing is our main inbox is clearly a diabetic dude with erectile dysfunction.

“The diabetes is probably causing your inbox’s erectile dysfunction.” — Thus sayeth the spambot.

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On horses and giants and fitting names

June 20, 2017 at 3:44 pm (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) (, , )

My daughter is obsessed with the new Legend of Zelda. And she loves going on side quests, like taming a giant horse. And then she gets to name the giant horse. AND THEN SHE DOESN’T NAME IT FEZZIK, which is what all giant things should be named all the time, forever.

“What’s wrong with Fezzik?”

“Neigh! I’m a giant horse and I should be named Fezzik. Neigh!”

 

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No, really, I hate country music

June 10, 2017 at 9:01 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) ()

Lady: So, are you going to the Garth Brooks concert?

Me: No, I really hate country music.

Lady: But it’s Garth Brooks!

Me: Right. Garth Brooks, the country musician?

Hey, look, it’s not that he’s not good at what he does, it’s that what he does is the most annoying form of music.

 

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Google on haircuts

June 8, 2017 at 10:16 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now)

So it’s been over a year since my terrible, bad, made-me-cry haircut and my hair is growing out and it looks really stupid.

So I googled “best short haircuts for wavy mixed-race hair.”

These haircuts …

… are neither …

.. short …

… nor wavy.

FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE, GOOGLE.

Eh, maybe this’ll work.

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Good ninja, bad name

April 26, 2017 at 10:57 am (Stuff that Bugs Me Right Now) (, , , )

This weekend, I got a new ninja plushie!

I don’t have a problem! This is not my bedroom!

“What’s his name?” my daughter said, even though I never name my plushies because I am an adult person and an adult person would never do anything silly like name a plush.

“Uhhh … Shinobu,” I said, suddenly unable to remember the name “Sarutobi Sasuke,” which is what I wanted to say, because at least if I, as an adult person, am going to name an adorable ninja plushie, I want to name it after a cool ninja.

Anyway, now my daughter won’t let me change his name.

“He looks like a Shinobu,” she says.

… He kind of does.

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