Seriously, though, what was up with all the monkeys?
I recently finished reading up on Jonestown (and believe me, when I got to the end of the book, I cried), and one thing really stuck out for me.
Among the victims was a chimpanzee named Mr. Muggs.
WHY WAS THERE A CHIMPANZEE NAMED MR. MUGGS?
Also, I watched a documentary about the Peoples Temple, and this lady was casually like, “yup, my mom’s spider monkey died and she saw Jim Jones was selling spider monkeys from his ad in the paper and that’ how we met him.”
Seriously, good people who were around in the ’60s and ’70s, I beg of you, please, tell me: what was the deal with all the monkeys? Why were they in such high demand? Why were they so easy to obtain? WHY WERE THEY NAMED MR. MUGGS???
The Flash and suspension of disbelief
Lately, I’ve gotten hooked on The Flash, because apparently I just want to spend my life watching CW superhero shows, why not.
Dude can run really fast? I’m in.
And I will buy just about anything it sells.
You can run fast enough to go back through time? Sure!
Travel through time AND look like Tom Cavanagh? COOL.
Also, let’s just have a Jesse L. Martin appreciation moment, shall we?
People can fuse together and become a superhero who shoots fire? I’m down with that!
You can visit the multiverse! Oh, hell, yes, of course you can!
Through one of these schnazzy glowing portals, even!
But I just cannot believe that anyone — ANYONE — would offer Iris West a job at a newspaper after reading her terrible blog. THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN THIS SHOW IS SO FAKE.
Seriously, you do not go from inexperienced barista to investigative reporter in two episodes. I DON’T BELIEVE THIS FOR A MOMENT, SHOW.
Why did no one tell me about this?
Why did no one tell me there is a Blade of the Immortal movie now????
There is no excuse for this! It’s inexcusable! I can’t believe no one said! *mutters incoherently*
JUST LOOK AT IT!!!!
PERFECTION!!
Supergirl sadness
Last night, my daughter broke with tradition and *sniffle* watched Supergirl at her dad’s house. Naturally, this made me very sad, as it’s “our show.”
Also, it made her dad very sad.
“This show is terrible,” he whispered as he dropped her off.
“Yes, but you’re in love with Melissa Benoist now too, right?”
“Maybe a bit,” he replied.
Just take some melatonin already, you idiot
So I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. (Well, more trouble than usual, I mean.) To remedy that, I’ve started drinking more.
“I am so relaxed right now!”
Studies say: drinking more doesn’t help you sleep.
I say: To hell with that! I’m different from everybody in your studies! I’m sure I will sleep better after I have all the vodka and the whiskey!
Pictured here: My dinner.
In conclusion, I’m so very sleepy and also out of vodka and whiskey.
Also, for some reason, I have a headache and my stomach hurts? Weird, huh?
Countdown to Japan
So it’s less than a week till my daughter and I leave for Japan, and my mother is getting a little cranky.
“I’d’ve gone if you’d invited me,” she said.
“Uh, yeah, that’s what we were afraid of,” I said.
Ha, ha, in your face, Mom, enjoy your time NOT in Japan!
Another perfectly reasonable question – daughter version
“Why do you say you would die for me, but then run away and leave me behind when the wasps come?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, I’m too busy running from all these wasps!”
Specialized spam….
I was going to keep going with the whole “sp” sounds there, but then I couldn’t think of anything except “sputter” and “Spartan,” so an ellipsis it is.
Anyway, today I’ll be complaining about the spam at work, because I get spam from spambots who clearly think I’m a bigoted Trump-loving Republican who hates Megyn Kelly (one out of four ain’t bad, I guess).
But the weird thing is our main inbox is clearly a diabetic dude with erectile dysfunction.
“The diabetes is probably causing your inbox’s erectile dysfunction.” — Thus sayeth the spambot.
On horses and giants and fitting names
My daughter is obsessed with the new Legend of Zelda. And she loves going on side quests, like taming a giant horse. And then she gets to name the giant horse. AND THEN SHE DOESN’T NAME IT FEZZIK, which is what all giant things should be named all the time, forever.
“What’s wrong with Fezzik?”
“Neigh! I’m a giant horse and I should be named Fezzik. Neigh!”
Hollywood Hates Me 