Shaun (of the Dead) vs. Jim

December 29, 2009 at 3:25 pm (Fictional Character Battles) (28 Days Later, Cillian Murphy, Shaun of the Dead, Simon Pegg, zombies)

Who the hell is Jim, you say? Does Jim even have a last name, you say? Probably he does, but no one bothered to tell the Internet what it was!

(Jim is Cillian Murphy’s character in 28 Days Later, another great zombie flick.)

Yup. Those're zombies, Shaun. Zombies.

I know it's the apocalypse and you just got out of a month-long coma, but that's no reason to abandon basic hair maintenance.

Sure, Shaun and Jim both faced zombies and came out triumphant, but what if they had to go up against each other? (And more zombies, because wouldn’t that be a great crossover??)

Let the epic battle begin!

Physicality. Well, we all know that there’s a soft spot in my heart for the mysteriously hot Simon Pegg, but here’s the thing. There’s nothing mysterious about Cillian Murphy’s hotness. His cheekbones could cut glass. His eyes are like, I don’t know, this real pretty color, like the sky or something, whatever. (In fact, his IMDB page describes his Trade Mark — which should really be one word — as “Bright blue eyes and prominent cheekbones.” Thank God I’m not the only one who noticed.) They’re both pretty short, though, which makes me sad, but I’ll get over it. Also, in 28 Days Later, Jim was completely nude in the hospital for some reason. (Seriously, is that some sort of British thing? “Hey, let’s strip the coma guy! Shit, are those zombies?!”) Winner? Jim.

Searching for photos of Cillian Murphy is almost as fun as searching for photos of Takeshi Kaneshiro.

 

Although I do like how pensive Simon Pegg looks in this photo.

Cooler weaponry? Shaun had a cricket bat. Mallet? Shaun had a wooden object used in the playing of cricket and he bashed zombies repeatedly about the head with said object. Later, he used a Winchester rifle that he got at the Winchester bar. Also, he used a tetherball pole. (Oooh, and records. He also used records. Not “Purple Rain,” though, God bless ‘im.) Jim had some sort of, I don’t know, baseball bat or something? (Of course, being British too, he probably also had the cricket thing, but what do I know?) Later, he used his bare hands and even a zombie as a weapon (against some remarkably crappy humans, not other zombies). Winner? Shaun, because that bit with the tetherball pole was sooooo funny.

Die, you zombie bastards, die!

Gets the girl? Yes! Shaun ends up with Liz, the girlfriend who dumped him just as the zombie outbreak begins. Jim hooks up with Selena, who is a crazy gorgeous chick/badass zombie killer. Winner? I’m going to have to go with Shaun here, because I can’t actually imagine Selena and Jim’s relationship lasting once the threat of imminent death was past.

Suffers tragic losses in the course of the zombie invasion? Shaun loses his stepfather, right after the man gives a heartfelt confession about having always loved his stepson. Then his mom gets bit by zombies and he has to shoot her in the face. Then his girlfriend’s flatmates get eaten by zombies. Then his best friend gets bit by zombies, and then I started crying and couldn’t stop. Gimme a second here. *sob* Jim wakes from a coma to find that his parents committed suicide to avoid turning into zombies (in this zombie flick, interestingly enough, the infected are living creatures, not walking undead). Really, those were the only people he was close to. Everyone else around him who dies are just people he met after the apocalypse. Winner? Shaun. *sob*

Not Ed! NOOOOOOO!

Bigger badass? God, did you see the way Shaun was fighting those zombies with the cricket thing? Wasn’t that cool? And the way he lit that bar counter on fire? And the way he took a dart to the head? Pretty badass, right? Hey, hey, did you see the way Jim beat that infected kid to death with his baseball bat or whatever? And then the way he killed all those soldiers who were going to rape his female companions? That was a pretty awesome sequence, wasn’t it? I mean, Jim was actually scarier than the zombies. Winner? I love Shaun (obviously), but the win here has to go to Jim, because, damn, he was one hell of a badass when he killed all those soldiers.

Lived to fight another day? You’d think this would be a tie, wouldn’t you? Well, you clearly haven’t seen the alternate (original) ending of 28 Days Later, which features Jim’s tragic demise in a hospital (bookending the movie neatly, I suppose). In that ending, he died. Winner? Shaun.

You've got some red on you.

Fought scarier zombies? For a while there, Shaun and his buddy Ed thought the zombie in their yard was a drunk chick. They even took photos of her and stuff. You know, before it became painfully apparent that she was undead. (And let that be a lesson to you, folks. Always assume the creepy person in your yard is a zombie until proven otherwise! Be prepared! Zombie apocalypse!) Jim, however, had to face the first fast-moving zombies. They were, like, the Usain Bolt of zombies! Zoom! Really fast! Winner? Jim.

Better soundtrack? All right, 28 Days Later had some neat songs, like that one song by Granddaddy and that other song that played over the ending credits and also that mix of “Ave Maria.” But Shaun of the Dead had The Smiths and Peter Cetera! Plus loads of other fun and/or good songs! Winner? Shaun!

Overall winner? Looks like Shaun comes out triumphant here, people. Cillian Murphy’s Jim was awesome, but he’s no Shaun (of the Dead).