Twin Peaks marathon: over
So I finally finished re-watching every episode of Twin Peaks, even the really, really crappy ones at the end.
Although David Duchovny's turn as a transvestite was worth tuning in for.
And when it was all over, one thing stuck in my craw.
Why did they let Shelly Johnson compete in the Miss Twin Peaks pageant?
"Because she's hot" is too obvious. Shut up.
Shelly Johnson is the wife of Leo Johnson, which makes her a married woman, which makes her a Mrs., which makes her ineligible! If it was open to married women, shouldn’t they call it the Ms. Twin Peaks pageant?
And I know that shouldn’t bother me so much, especially when there are far more major annoyances to consider, like: why did they throw Heather Graham into the show at the last minute as a love interest for Dale Cooper?
Damn Coop's stupid honor, Kyle Maclachlan, you could've had this!
Seriously: why?
I mean, who could fake chemistry with THAT, Christ!
Why did Billy Zane’s character tuck his sweater into his pants (that were hooked with a belt)?
But now, my lifelong aversion to Billy Zane is finally explained!
Why was Sheriff Truman so easily satisfied with someone calling an attempt on his life a result of “sexual jealousy”?
Just because Coop says it doesn't mean it's true, Harry.
Why did Windom Earle suck so bad?
It was all the chess, wasn't it.
Why did the “man from another place” have such a horrible, horrible combover?
It's even worse in closeup.
How did Killer BOB possess Cooper?
An ex-boyfriend once told me it was because Coop faced the Black Lodge with imperfect courage, but there's a reason we broke up and it's because Agent Cooper is always perfect.
WHY DID I KEEP WATCHING THIS SHOW AFTER IT STARTED SUCKING, JESUS!
Get rid of Ray Wise and you get rid of the fun, say I.
Hollywood Hates Me 
Jeremy said,
October 26, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Time to re-watch Fire Walk With Me.
lokifire said,
October 26, 2010 at 5:58 pm
I’ve got it in the queue, baby.
Leilani said,
December 7, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Your Twin Peaks blogs are the FUNNIEST! I share your passion for this show. And Coop.
What was my point again? Oh yeah: keep em coming! 🙂
lokifire said,
December 7, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Aw, that’s so sweet!
Hei Du said,
May 18, 2012 at 9:37 am
If anybody ever reads this, here’s why they brought in Annie: Kyle’s explanation is that he thought it wouldn’t be right for Cooper to start an affair with such a young woman, so he demanded they drop it.
Other people who worked on the show had a different explanation: Kyle was dating Lara Flynn Boyle at the time, and she threw a huge tantrum and threatened to leave the show.
I wish they just fired her really, the change meant much less Audrey in season 2, the Billy Zane storyline and a new character nobody cared about kidnapped and taken to the Black Lodge instead. Lara didn’t even return for the movie.