A love letter to Raymond “Ray” Stantz

November 14, 2011 at 3:26 pm (I Propose to Fictional Characters) (, )

Dear Raymond Stantz,

I don’t mind if you thought of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

Stay Puft, Marshmallow Man. Stay Puft.

I love you.

I love you for your ghostbusting skills. I love you for your ability to call the Book of Revelation “Revelation” and not “Revelations,” because holy cow, does that drive me nuts. I love the way you know about ghosts and parapsychology and how you kind of look like Dan Akroyd.

I'm sorry, I meant: EXACTLY like Dan Akroyd.

You’re the heart of the Ghostbusters, Ray, and I’d like you to be my heart.

Wait, that doesn’t make sense.

What I’m saying, Ray, is I’d like to take you out for dinner, a quiet little Italian place maybe, and we could have white chocolate raspberry cheesecake for dessert if they have it, or quietly complain about how they don’t have white chocolate raspberry cheesecake for dessert if they don’t.

I like white chocolate raspberry cheesecake is all.

And then, Ray?

Well, I’d like to take you home and keep you.

On my shelf of "collectibles, not toys, dammit," preferably.

You are such a little cuddle bear.

(Oh, and Ray? By “take you home and keep you,” I actually meant “something that involves handcuffs and maybe a proton pack, if we’re feeling especially naughty.”)

(Don’t cross the streams, baby.)

(Or do, I guess.)

Cross the streams, don't cross the streams -- it's hard to remember which one destroys the universe and which one saves it.

Anyway, Ray, the next time someone asks you if you’re a god? You can say “yes,” because, baby, you’re the god of my heart.

(Crap, that still doesn’t make sense.)

I love you! And marshmallows! We’d be great together. Call me!

Although I guess I could call you, like the song says to and all.

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44 Comments

  1. Travis Bierwagen said,

    In the new GHOSTBUSTERS comic from IDW, the GBs are being sued by the Stay-Puft company for conjuring the big guy and ruining the companies reputation/sales. Ha! πŸ˜€

    Also, no surprise I’m sure, but I have that 12″ Ray Stantz.

    • lokifire said,

      Hey, the 12″ Ray Stantz is totally my boyfriend.

    • Cassandra said,

      The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is so cute!!!!!!!!!

  2. Brienna said,

    Love you SEXY Ray Stantz! πŸ˜›
    Oh, and it’s spelt, ‘Aykroyd’! πŸ™‚

    • lokifire said,

      Aw, jeez, that probably means I’ve been pronouncing his last name wrong all these years too!

    • Cassandra said,

      I noticed that it was spelt wrong too and he is not sexy, okay? RETARDED!!! And Dan Aykroyd is like 50 by now btw… also Ray IS a movie character???!

      • lokifire said,

        Dear Cassandra,
        You are a moron.
        Thanks for reading!

      • Brienna said,

        He isn’t to you, but he is to many of us! Deal with it!
        We know he’s a movie character, you retard!! We know how old he is too in the real world!!
        Just because we love someone who’s fictional, doesn’t mean we’re retarded or don’t have a real life!
        If you don’t like something stay away!! As in, GET LOST!!!
        This site is NOT for you, stay away!

  3. Cassandra said,

    How old are you guys? No offense but it’s pretty retarded that you love a fictional character so much. But P.S. Watch The Blues Brothers sometimes

    • Brienna said,

      I’m adult! How old are you?
      You’re retarded for not minding your own damn business for what others like/love. Deal with it! People can be into whatever the hell we want! Don’t like it? Tuff shit! Ignore it and move on! It’s not hurting you!
      I’ve seen the Blues Brothers, the 2nd one’s better.

  4. Cassandra said,

    Dear lokifire:
    You guys have NO life!! Reality is a lovely place. You should come visit it sometime.
    Thanks for reading!
    P.S. Ray is the best character and he’s cute, but THIS is just PITIFUL.

    • lokifire said,

      Dear Cassandra,
      There’s only one of us “guys,” and she has a very vivid fantasy life.
      I do appreciate your ability to spell, though.
      Thanks for replying! Most people just insult me and leave, so it’s nice to have a back and forth, no matter how stupid.

    • Brienna said,

      We have lives!! Just because we like escaping the real world on occation doesn’t mean anything!! Nothing wrong with taking a break from reality!
      You’re the PITIFUL one, you little brat!

  5. Cassandra said,

    • lokifire said,

      Errrr … Ray’s not real. That’s why it’s called “I Propose to Fictional Characters.”
      The key word is fictional. The other key word is characters, which means I’ve done this more than once, which means, possibly it’s a joke?

      • Brienna said,

        And she says we’re retarded? :/ (rolls eyes at Cassandra.)

      • lokifire said,

        Awww, thanks for leaping to my (and Ray’s) defense, Brienna!
        Just for that, you’re so invited to the wedding.

      • Brienna said,

        You’re welcome! ^_^
        Yay! LOL

    • Brienna said,

      I see nothing wrong with how he looks today! He may have gained weight, but that happens. Oh well!
      I see that whomever you’re with, you’ll think he’s ugly when he reaches Dan’s age!
      You’re a sad little girl!!

      • Cassandra said,

        Omg Brienna, lokifire, and whoever posted this love letter… I am SO sorry!! It truly, honestly wasn’t me who wrote those things! It was my friend!! I love Ray just as much as the next guy!! πŸ™‚ But my friend thought it was the stupidest thing ever and since she was embarrassed to admit it was her that did it, she used MY name!!! I am SOOOO SORRY!!!!!!! I am TOTALLY mad at her, okay? She did that because I showed her this letter. I showed it to her because I respected it. I love Ray and I don’t care how old Dan Aykroyd is, whether he’s a fictional character, or anything. I personally would not exactly use the word ‘sexy’ to describe him, though, but that’s just me. πŸ™‚ SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG I JUST HAD TO TELL THIS TO YOU!!!!!!!

      • Brienna said,

        I guess after that, you’ll never show that-I’m saying it anyway-bitch anything you like again because she would only be a JA? And if I were you, I’d never let her use my computer again!
        Just saying this now, true friends don’t do what that bitch did!
        Fine for you, I’ll only go down one notch, Dan’s hot.
        Hope that little brat of a so-called friend grows up soon. I’m sorry she did that to you!

      • lokifire said,

        Poor Cassandra! Please tell your stupid friend that on the Internet, you can totally make up names.
        (And what do you mean he’s not sexy? Ray’s hot. So hot.)

  6. Cassandra said,

    Well he’s just cute in my opinion, that’s all. I wouldn’t describe him as sexy or hot, just cute. πŸ™‚ But please don’t insult me because I said that because it’s just different strokes for different folks, right?

    • lokifire said,

      I only insult people who are being jerks.
      And people who cut me off in traffic.
      Also, people who sing off-key.
      And reality show contestants.

      OK, I insult a lot of people.

      • Cassandra said,

        Lol!!!! Well at least you and I have something in common πŸ˜› Anyways, I think that Ghostbusters 1 and 2 are the best movies ever made and I’m marrying Egon. πŸ™‚ lol

  7. Cassandra said,

    P.S. Who wrote this? I’m just curious. Oh, and, when I marry Egon, whoever wrote the letter, Brienna, and lokifire… you’re invited to the wedding πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ (as long as I’m invited to lokifire’s wedding :D)

    • Brienna said,

      I didn’t write anything but the comments you see.

      • Cassandra said,

        Okay but in case anyone’s wondering I forgot a word in the last comment I wrote. When I said ‘who wrote this’ it was supposed to say ‘who wrote this letter’ so OOPS! πŸ˜›

      • lokifire said,

        That’s me. All the love letters to fictional characters on Hollywood Hates Me are my personal mental illness/property.

      • Brienna said,

        I understood what you meant. πŸ™‚

  8. Cassandra said,

    Cool you understood what I meant and lokifire: You are too cool ;D

  9. Cassandra said,

    And by the way there’s a lot of fictional characters that I like, too πŸ˜€ Too many to count really. Ray, of course, is one of them. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    • Brienna said,

      Same here! I have a lot of fictional characters I like as well! πŸ˜€

      • Cassandra said,

        Just out of curiosity… would you be willing to share any of them? Some of mine are Marty McFly from Back to the Future, I sort of like Billy from Gremlins, and I like Warren Peace from Sky High. Also Dally from The Outsiders. …are you laughing at me? πŸ™‚ That’s okay if you are πŸ˜›

      • Brienna said,

        Those wouldn’t be my choices, though I do like Marty, he’s a cool character, people can like/love whom ever they want, so it’s fine.
        The fictional characters I like/love whoud be Ryo Sanada and Sage Date from Ronin Warriors, Sesshomaru and Bankutsu from Inuyasha, Dean Winchester from Supernatural, Clark Kent from Smallville, Data from Star Trek the Next Generation, Malcolm Reed and Trip Tucker Star Trek Enterprise, and Virgil Hawkins and Richie Foley from Static Shock.
        I do like Inuyasha himself and Rowen Hashiba, Cye Mouri, and Kento Rei Faun on RW, the ones you see are the main ones from those shows I like/love.
        And, gee, I hope that’s all of ’em! LOL ^_^’

  10. Cassandra said,

    Whoa, cool! I didn’t nearly write down all of mine. Another good-looking character is Theo from The Cosby Show, played by Malcom-Jamal Warner, I think… you may be able to tell I like the 80’s πŸ™‚

    • Brienna said,

      I forgot one! Terry McGinnis from Batman Beyond!
      You like the Cosby Show? I could never stand it. But to each their own.
      But I will agree the 80’s had good shows, movies, and music in it.

  11. Cassandra said,

    Yeah my family’s a bit stuck in the 80’s πŸ™‚ Everyone in my family likes The Cosby Show but I don’t know anyone else who does πŸ˜› Who are your favorite 80’s singers? I kind of like Michael Jackson, Air Supply, and REO Speedwagon. Cyndi Lauper’s not bad either. For movies I like E.T., Back To The Future, Gremlins, Jurassic Park, and of course Ghostbusters πŸ˜€ For t.v. shows I like Family Ties and the Cosby Show ;D

    • Brienna said,

      I don’t know the names of the singers or bands from that time. The music I mostly can remember from the 80’s is what’s on the Ghostbusters 1-2 soundtracks.
      Those movies were good.
      I liked everything that Mike J. Fox was in. And since I was only born in ’86 I don’t really remember what was in the 80’s I liked. Sorry.

  12. Cassandra said,

    No sweat, that’s okay. I’m just really obsessed with the 80’s right now so I probably know more about the decade than most of the other people I know πŸ˜› πŸ˜€

  13. Cassandra said,

    πŸ˜€

  14. Cassandra said,

    I remember in 2009 I was pretty obsessed with Wylde from Hot Wheels AcceleRacers, too. LOL

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