Cognitive dissonance time!
In the local paper this weekend, there was an advertisement placed by a “church” celebrating Trump’s election and reading, in part, “We are very thankful and rejoice that the Obama nightmare is no more.”
“Thank heavens our long, nationwide nightmare of equality and prosperity is finally at an end!”
By the way, if you’re interested, you can purchase the minister’s book on demons.
Yup, pretty sure he means literal demons, because DON’T GO TO THIS CHURCH THE MINISTER IS INSANE!
And in today’s paper, there was a letter to the editor from a woman identifying herself as a “proud” member of the “basket of deplorables” who is horrified at the hatred in the hearts of the people marching for human rights.
Says the woman who supports a man who has aligned himself with white supremacists and LITERAL NAZIS.
Why do I like The Good Place so much?
The Good Place is this new show starring Veronica Mars…
“I do have an actual name, you know.”
… Sam from Cheers…
“I also actually have a name.”
…this actor I’m not familiar with playing Chidi…
“Seriously, maybe try learning people’s actual names?”
…this tall drink of water playing Tahani…
“For God’s sake, woman, it’s Jameela Jamil. Jameela Jamil!”
… the hilarious living app Janet…
“You need an app for PEOPLE’S NAMES.”
… and Manny Jacinto.
“Why is this literally the only name you can remember?”
Anyway, it’s about heaven and how Veronica Mars doesn’t belong there, and it just ended its first (only????) season with an awesome twist that my daughter informs me I totally called back in the fall when we first started watching it.
So, just so you know, even if I can’t remember doing it, I am apparently a twist-calling genius, and everyone should appreciate me more.
You should watch it.
Actually, you should’ve watched it when it was airing, because it might not be back for a second season, and that would be sad, because it’s really funny.
Yup. Funny show. I hope it’s not canceled.
Let’s do the time loop again
So I just had an immense feeling of déjà vu, which means, of course, that I am trapped in a time loop.
… And I’m taking you all with me.
Speaking of TV I don’t enjoy
… Here’s a list of television shows I’ve been watching lately that are kind of awful.
The Great American Baking Competition. My mother and my daughter love this show about people baking stuff and then we don’t get to eat it.
And nobody even says “I’m not here to make friends,” and they’re all just so nice.
Ransom. I watched what was clearly the first episode of this paint-by-numbers procedural last night because I think I’m suicidal or something, seriously, why didn’t I do anything else? And at the end, it was all like: “New episodes! Saturday evening, where TV shows go to die!” So clearly CBS thinks as highly of it as I did.
This show couldn’t be more mediocre if it tried.
Some procedural on ABC that has Iceman or his twin brother in it, and I can’t even bother to remember the name of it. It’s some show about how they try to save people from execution, I think? And they were trying to get this girl who murdered her rapist out of prison? And then it turned out she wasn’t the real murderer? And I was like, “Um, it’s obviously the rape counselor?” And 20 minutes later, the characters were like, “Oh, it’s obviously the rape counselor?”
I know you thought I was joking, but I literally can’t remember and don’t care about the name of this show.
To Tell the Truth. This actually had a Soul Train dancer and a Solid Gold dancer show up, so, by default, it is the best thing I have watched on television lately.
… I should probably just try to watch old episodes of Soul Train.
Abominable is a good word, though
Sherlock Series 4 started yesterday! But I didn’t see it, because PBS has decided to stop working on my television, and I didn’t get around to streaming the new episode in a totally legal manner, so I decided to review last year’s Christmas special instead.
Insert pithy remark about Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones here.
I probably should have reviewed last year’s Christmas special last year, but why don’t you get a blog and I’ll tell you how to run it.
No, I’m sorry, guys. I’ll stop taking out my writing issues on you.
Anyway, the Sherlock Christmas Special is called “The Abominable Bride” or somesuch, because I can’t be arsed to look it up. It’s set in Victorian England, because Holmes has gotten his hands on a time machine. Alternately, he did a lot of drugs and is in his mind palace, which is a conceit that is really beginning to wear on me.
I mean, by season 3, everybody and their DOG had a mind palace.
So in Victorian England, Holmes and Watson are trying to solve the case of the suicidal bride who kills her husband after she’s already dead. Along the way, we meet the Victorian England versions of our favorite Sherlock characters. Lestrade has some incredible mutton chops. Molly Hooper, the cute morgue girl, is disguised as a dude, and Holmes totally can’t tell that she’s not a dude, because he is the worst Best Detective Ever ever.
“Seriously, you are an awful detective.”
Mrs. Hudson is Mrs. Hudson is a retro dress, and John’s Annoying Wife is still there.
Although not for long, am I right? Spoiler alert for season 4, suckers!
The dead bride keeps killing dudes, which is spooooooky, except it turns out it’s a conspiracy of ladies, and then that whole plot line of STOP IGNORING WOMEN DAMMIT gets totally dropped.
“Soooo … can you figure out how to write our way out of this one?”
“Let’s just say it was all in Holmes’s mind and call it a day, shall we?”
“Let’s do.”
Then Moriarty shows up and is annoying, and then he and Holmes fight on a waterfall, because why not beat The Final Problem like a dead horse, and then Holmes jumps off the waterfall and it’s totally the end of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and then we’re back in London and sexism is solved, forever.
“WHEEEEEEEEEE.”
Hollywood Hates Me 