Huh, says society in general
So: Ben Affleck will be Batman in the new Man of Steel flick.
That’s … certainly a casting choice.
City of Bones sounds cool, but probably isn’t
Like, seriously, how cool would a city of bones be? Or, you know, horrifying, depending on your stance on cities made out of bones.
But then you find out that before you get to the City of Bones, you have to spend some serious quality time with Eyebrow Girl and her friend Blonde Guy Who Talks Snooty, and then you start reconsidering your vacation to the City of Bones.
And that’s why I need you to go to The World’s End with me, because we all love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and Watson.
Murder by kindness
After a certain person was a complete jerk to me the other day, my mother suggested I respond by killing him with kindness.
But I’ve been being kind to this person for years and he hasn’t died yet.
Ein vs. Scooby-Doo
It’s a battle of fictional puppies!
One travels the country by van, solving crimes with a bunch of hippies.
One traverses the solar system in a spaceship, tracking criminals with a bunch of bounty hunters.
Which dog is more awesome? You’re about to find out.
Physicality. Scooby-Doo is a cartoon Great Dane. Ein is a cartoon Welsh Corgi. Have you ever seen a Welsh Corgi? They’ve got these stubby little legs and these ears that stick up and soooo cute. Winner? Ein.
Smarter? Scooby-Doo can talk a bit, although his enunciation suffers due to his lack of lips. Ein can’t talk, but he knows more about computers than you do. Especially if you’re my mom. Winner? Ein.
Has been to Mars? Ein’s been to Mars. Not Scooby, though. Winner? Ein.
Visits a lot of abandoned theme parks? Only once in Cowboy Bebop does anybody go visit an abandoned theme park, and nobody thinks to bring Ein with them when they do. Probably because of the brutal assassin lying in wait, but still. On the other hand, Scooby-Doo and the gang practically live in abandoned theme parks. Abandoned theme parks are their bread and butter. Winner? Scooby-Doo.
Gets to hang out with Spike Spiegel? I want to hang out with Spike Spiegel. Winner? Ein.
Eats on a regular basis? Once, Ein got to eat a hallucinogenic mushroom. Otherwise, he’s about as hungry as the rest of the Bebop crew. Scooby gets Scooby snacks and also whatever else he and Shaggy can fit in their craws. Winner? Scooby.
Solves more crimes? Scooby-Doo and the gang often solve crimes. It’s, like, their thing. Ein and the crew of the Bebop don’t really solve crimes. They just try to capture criminals for the bounties on their heads, and they’re not really all that good at that. Winner? Scooby-Doo.
Better theme song? The Scooby-Doo theme is very catchy and wonderful, but it’s no Tank!, am I right?
Overall winner? Ein, the second-best character in Cowboy Bebop.
Hollywood Hates Me: Now with 100 percent more award nominations
OK, my math is probably terribly off, but the awesome Brikhaus nominated me for a couple of Blog awards! That’s really nice and, also, totally deserved, because I’m wonderful and so is my blog.
Tragically, however, to accept the awards, I have to nominate over 10 other blogs for the awards and, because I am a horrible anti-social jerk, I don’t know over 10 other blogs to nominate. So Hollywood Hates Me will continue to exist in its awards-free status, but I thought I’d at least take the time to fulfill the other requirements of the awards, because Brikhaus is so sweet.
The Liebster Award: This is given to bloggers with less than 200 followers, which is definitely this blog. (I’m so lonely!)
The rules for accepting the award are as follows:
- List 11 random facts about yourself.
- Answer the questions that were asked of you (by the blogger that nominated you)
- Nominate 11 other blogs for the Liebster Award and include a link to their blogs.
- Notify the bloggers of their award.
- Ask the award winners 11 questions to answer once they accept the award.
So you see how I’m out as of rule 3. But I’ll happily complete tasks 1 and 2, because I know everyone is very interested.
Random Facts:
- My name isn’t really Lokifire.
- My daughter really is named after a god, though.
- I’m (obviously) deeply interested in mythology and folklore. In fact, I have more books on mythology and fairy tales than our local library and bookstores combined.
- I used to own a hedgehog named Salt. She died of old age. Old age for a hedgehog isn’t very old. She was only 5. I cried a lot, and everyone was like: “What’s wrong with you? It was a rodent,” and I was like, “but I loved that rodent!”
- My first nationally published poem was in Wind Magazine in 2001. It showed up in the mail on Sept. 11 of that year. Up until then, I’d been really excited about getting a poem published, but when I saw the magazine in the mail that particular day, I was like, “Man, who cares about poetry,” and stuffed it in a drawer until it felt okay to be happy about things again.
- I work full-time at a funeral home, part-time at a comic book store and part-time at a church nursery (for kids, not plants).
- I have a tattoo that has the first line of the Sh’ma on my left arm, where most people my age have stupid barbed wire tattoos instead. I can’t say it in Hebrew, but in English, it says: “Hear, O Israel: Our Lord, Our God, Our Lord is One.”
- I used to sleepwalk as a child. Once, I woke up in the bathtub with the water running. My parents had broken down the door to keep me from drowning.
- I’m of mixed race: Half white, one-quarter African-American and one-quarter Chippewa Cree. Despite that, I have a blonde, blue-eyed daughter. I blame her father for that.
- I hate killing bugs or anything, except wasps, hornets and mosquitoes. God, how I hate wasps, hornets and mosquitoes.
- I’m always cold, so when I get too hot (which happens rarely), I tend to pass out. It’s kind of embarrassing.
Answers to the questions that Brikhaus the Amazing asked me:
- What is something popular that you can’t stand? Mojitos. Mint should only be in toothpaste and breath-freshening candies, not alcoholic beverages.
- What is your favorite movie? There’s too many to choose one, but some of my favorites are Alien, The Thing (1980s version), Some Like it Hot, House of Flying Daggers and Sherlock Jr.
- What is your favorite TV show? Of all time, it’s Cowboy Bebop. Currently airing, it’s Sherlock.
- What is the last movie you walked out on? I’ve never walked out on a movie. But I’ve only gone to three movies in the past two years, so it takes a lot for me to get to the theater. Also, the expense kind of precludes walking out. I mean, movie tickets are pricy and all, but all the movie theaters in town are over 10 miles away from where I live, so the gas money alone means I’m staying put and I’m liking it, dammit.
- Is it better to have loved and lost, or never to have loved at all? Ugh, don’t ask me that. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years.
- If you were Nicolas Cage for a day, what would you do? Watch Leaving Las Vegas over and over because, man! I used to be awesome.
- Who is an infamous historical figure you would have dinner with? Lately, I’ve been reading up on true crime, so I’m going to go with Bonnie Parker. Clyde Barrow could come too, I guess, but Bonnie would be less likely to shoot you in the face, so she’s my first pick.
- What book do you wish would be turned into a movie? My book, if it ever gets published, because then more people would buy it and then maybe I could stop having three jobs.
- Which drink do you choose at the cinema, and why? Water, because I don’t like soda.
- What is the greatest comedy film ever made? If you did not choose Monty Python and the Holy Grail, why did you choose an incorrect answer? Ooh, I do love The Holy Grail, but it’s no Some Like it Hot. It’s got Marilyn Monroe. The Holy Grail hasn’t got Marilyn Monroe.
- If a large organization offered to syndicate your blog, would you sell out? In a New York Minute. See above, re: three jobs.
So there you go! All the things you wanted to know about me answered, except my real name and what I really look like (hint: Now that my hair’s getting long again, I am starting to resemble my Rin Asano avatar) and why I don’t know over 10 other blogs.
Thanks, Brik!
Miss Marple is a badass: A 10-point list
Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple is the second-best fictional detective ever. Here’s a list of reasons why.
1. Well, she can’t be the best fictional detective ever because Sherlock Holmes.
2. She’s a spinster who enjoys crocheting and making her own brandy.
3. She can solve a crime without dropping a row in her crocheting.
4. Miss Marple might look harmless, but Scotland Yard considers her an “avenging fury.”
5. People tell her all sorts of things they won’t tell the police or a male detective, because she’s a fluffy little old lady.
6. She’s always quick to credit her crime-solving to others, even though she really doesn’t have any reason to be modest, because she’s a genius.
7. If you’re thinking of committing a crime, you can count on her to talk you out of it without snitching to anyone else.
8. Did I mention she makes her own brandy?
9. She’s nice to everybody, except murderers.
10. Sometimes, she’s known as “Nemesis.” Because she is Bad. Ass.
I’m calling it now
So I’ve been seeing previews for NBC’s new show The Blacklist, starring James Spader as an evil criminal mastermind who’s working with the FBI for some reason, except he’ll only work with one FBI agent, this terribly wooden brunette who’s on her first day on the job.
Why would he choose a newbie, you wonder?
Because she’s obviously his secret daughter, of course.
If I’m wrong, feel free to inform me, because I really have no plans to watch this show.